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body remains

Life is a continuous cycle; one event shapes another, which in turn shapes the next, and this cycle continues for generations. Every time from the beginning.
Until it is interrupted. The question is whether it can be interrupted considering the hermetic nature of the environment in which we live and the fact that such an approach has been shaped for centuries.
In this project, I am reflecting on selected, subjective aspects of being a woman.

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Some kind of fate (works: 9854, young woman resting on the grass v. spider hairpin). 

Despite expectations of a boy, I was born a girl.

In my life, I have often wondered how I would perceive women if I had been born a boy. Would I follow the beaten path that I so often encountered on my journey, or would I be able to break free from this pattern, look deeper, and see more? 

Who is/could be the woman for me?

 

Cover (394, 9198, 604, woman in bath, 398, 176, 305-309)

(works: 9854, young woman resting on the grass v. spider hairpin). 

So often, others see me. They see my cover. How important it is.

These external layers adorned with clothing, a well-groomed body, or makeup evoke some unhealthy curiosity in the other party, provoke compliments about things that are not significant to me or that I wouldn't want to be significant, and influence reactions that I do not expect. What is the purpose of admiring the coating? In which direction is it heading? 

Muñeca sexual.

As far back as I can remember, the women around me had to meet the appropriate requirements of men. Patriarchy in my country was omnipresent. Moreover, men's expectations regarding girls and women are still relevant.

 I lived in a time when women were taught from childhood how to behave and how to look in order to (suggestion here) be noticed and chosen by men.

The constant showcase and ubiquity of beauty in photos, along with comments on how things should look and what actions are acceptable, have displaced authenticity and being oneself, thereby changing women's perception of themselves.

Currently, social media reinforces this process by frequently displaying camouflaged photos of beautiful, scantily dressed women, as well as photos of models and celebrities who everyone admires. Consequently, these images set the directions and trends for how one should live and look. They show children (both boys and girls) what ideal to strive for. The cycle starts anew.

Consciously or unconsciously, therefore, women strive to meet the expectations imposed on them by "beautifying" or destroying their bodies, often suffering physically and mentally in the process. 

 

Frustration (works: 401, 187, 9199)

What happens if we fail to meet the next set of expectations? What will happen then? There could be rejection, passive violence, verbal aggression, brutal behaviors, or even physical force. Establishing boundaries often results in these situations, particularly when one party refuses to comply with those boundaries.

In such situations, women may encounter various terms intended to belittle, demean, or demonstrate superiority over them.

There are also individuals who do not directly interact with the physical realm. A wise woman might hear that she is an "idiot," "brain dead," "abnormal," or "mentally ill."

These words have a brutal force: they cut from the inside, they rape, and they disembowel.

When a woman meets expectations, she often receives admiration, idealization, and recognition for her uniqueness; however, when she sets boundaries, these same traits often turn against her.

A compliment heard previously changes its value and becomes an even greater thorn than the primitive adoration of the shell. For a person striving to be recognized in their authenticity, such a shift in the vector of compliments is yet another difficult experience and can lead to disaster. 

Another brutal act of revealing one's authenticity to the wrong person is known as gaslighting. Gaslighting undermines the other person's confidence, leaving them in ignorance and with thoughts of something wrong with them.

 

Consequences (works: lake at night, 483-502, surprised woman)
Often in such situations, feelings of embarrassment, disgust, suffering, or a loss of self-worth can arise, along with depression, anger, and sometimes even death.

Self-esteem, so cruelly shattered, is often difficult to rebuild. It requires time and immense effort, which is not always manageable. Especially when there is no help. Sometimes a year is enough, and sometimes a whole lifetime is needed to get back on your feet and rebuild yourself. Become a warrior. Sometimes, however, the ending can be different..

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The photographs were taken in Poland and the Netherlands, from 2020 to 2024. Most of the project's artwork consists of abstractions from nature or urban locations that have been converted into new images (for example, by emphasizing lighs, shadows, or colors).

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